June, 2004 (Don't embarrass kids)

Dear Dads,

We need to realize how hurtful it is to our children when we say something negative about them in front of other people.

We can be glad our heavenly father doesn't humiliate us in front of people the way we do our kids sometimes.

Key point for dads:

We need to be very careful not to embarrass our children in front of other people.

Important Bible verse:

Ephesians 6:4 "Fathers, do not exasperate your children"

We may think we're helping our children to be humble or teaching them a lesson, but to make our kids look bad in front of others can be quite harmful.

There are so many possible examples:

-We try to be humble when one of our kids is complemented so we say a negative. Please start accepting the compliment and saying how thankful you are for them.

- We're trying to stimulate a child to improve in some way so we point out a negative to someone. Please don't do that, but talk to the child in private the way God works with us.

- Don't refer to your children as knuckleheads or hellions or whatever. Again, aren't we glad God doesn't call us derogatory names in front of people? - Sometimes we're angry or embarrassed and say things we shouldn't. Train yourself not to talk until you have calmed down.

There are so many possible examples. Please ask the Lord to show you if you're messing up.

One other point is that I am not saying there is not a time for a child to have to apologize for wrong behavior, but again, that should happen after we have corrected things in private. We should then support and encourage the child as he or she apologizes appropriately.

Our example should be the gentle, encouraging, but also firm way that God works with us. Let's build our kids up in front of other people, not tear them down.

Your brother in Christ,

Al Wylie

PS- Let's make sure we do the same for our wives.